Since my mom’s death, I’ve done very little crocheting and blog posting. Now it is time to start again. I had a few sales in my Etsy shop last year. So I’m ready to start making new goals for myself.
I finished knitting the black and mustard colored scarf. I am pleased because it is the first knitted item I’ve completed in a while. I made it from Vanna’s Choice Lion Brand yarn. I did a basket weave pattern holding two strands of yarn together. The scarf is about 5 inches wide and 60 inches long. I plan to list this scarf for sale on my Etsy site. I have already started knitting a second scarf with the remaining yarn.
Tomorrow will be my first bereavement counseling session. It has been about a month since I have been out of the apartment. I’m looking forward to going outside. I still haven’t heard anything about my power chair. My pastor will push me in my regular wheelchair. It will be nice to have the power chair then I will be able to go outside without needing someone to push my wheelchair.
Tonight , I plan to finish crocheting two berets. I’ll crochet while I watch my favorite television shows. Amazing Race is probably on now. I’ll try to watch the end of it after I finish writing this entry. I want to get back into the habit of crocheting everyday. I believe that crocheting and knitting , will help me through my grieving for my mom.
I ordered Lion Brand’s Vanna’s choice Yarn in black and mustard last week. I want to complete a scarf that I started knitting several months ago to sell in my Etsy Shop.
I did not go to church today. Maybe by next Sunday, I’ll have my power wheelchair. It was a quiet day for me and my cat Misty. I had no visitors today. I also had very few phone calls. Even though I miss my mom, I enjoy living alone most of the time. I may need to get a roommate to help meet expenses. So far, though I seem to be managing alright alone.
Sunday afternoon and evening is usually my busiest phone time. Maybe, I’ll make a few calls if no one calls me.
Hopefully, in tomorrow’s blog post I’ll be able to report that I finished crocheting the two berets.
I have made another sale from my Etsy site. This is the fifth sale I’ve had through Etsy this year. It was another beret. It does not seem like much, but it is very exciting to me. This sale will help toward encouraging me to get back to knitting and crocheting daily.
I am still working on my friend’s Dollie’s beret. I ‘m still trying to establish what normal means to me at this point.
So much of my daily activities centered on my mom. Now that I just have to think about myself and my cat Misty, I have to think of different approaches to plan daily activities.
Hopefully I will be receiving a new power wheelchair from the Scooter Store which will improve my mobility.
Crochet Group Met On Oct. 22nd
Finally,on October 22nd , two ladies came to my home for my crocheting group. One crocheter is making individual granny squares from her yarn stash. She hasn’t decided what projects she will create from the squares yet. The other participant is crocheting a granny square baby blanket for a grandchild. I started crocheting a beret for my friend Dollie.We talked about crocheting lapghans to donate to a nursing home. Our next meeting date is scheduled for November 5th. It was a good time for me because I needed help to bring my focus back to crocheting.
My mom’s 71st birthday would have been on October 12th. Last year for her 70th birthday ,I gave her a nice party. This year on October 15th I had a get together with a few friends to remember mom. It was a good idea. It helped make my pain easier to bear. I am so thankful to the Lord for the friends , neighbors, church members and family I am blessed to know.
I am reading a ” Grief Observed ” by C.S. Lewis on my Kindle. A bereavement counselor suggested that I read “On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler.Ross and David Kessler so I’m reading that book too. I’ve also read “90 Minutes In Heaven: A True Story of Life And Death” by Don Piper and Cecil Murphey.
I’m still missing my mom. I guess I always will. I’m also very anxious about my living situation. I don’t know how much longer I am going to be able to continue living in this apartment for financial and other reasons. My faith in Jesus Christ is really being tested these days. I need faith to believe my precious mom is in heaven. I need faith to believe that I’m not going to have to leave my home of 33 years to move somewhere I don’t want to live.
My cat Misty brings me such comfort and joy. She remains so calm and seemingly unaffected by the absence of my mom. I can tell that Misty is aware that mom is gone. I also sense that somehow Misty knows mom will not be returning.
Prior to mom’s death, Misty was in the habit of sitting on my mom’s wheelchair whenever my mom wasn’t using it. Each time my mom wanted to use her wheelchair she had to push Misty off the seat. Since mom’s death, Misty does not get on the wheelchair at all.
Lately, Misty has started sleeping on my bed with me some evenings which she rarely did when mom was alive.
I Went To Church Yesterday
I went to church yesterday morning. It was very challenging because I didn’t have anyone to push me in the wheelchair. I walked to the front of the building pushing the wheelchair. I am so thankful that I have the Access A Ride Paratransit van to transport me. The members of my church continue to be very supportive and encouraging.
I still miss my mom very much. I received positive feedback on a beret I sold on Etsy. The crocheting group meeting I scheduled for last month didn’t happen. But I will schedule another meeting for this month.
I hopefully will start writing my second crocheting newsletter this week.
Rainy Day
It was a very rainy day here in the Bronx. The weather didn’t affect me at all since I didn’t go out. I’m still hoping that the crocheting group will meet tomorrow. The weather forecast for tomorrow predicts rain again.
I recently purchased a Kindle. I read a book on the Kindle. I haven’t downloaded anything to read about knitting or crocheting yet. I had such high hopes about selling my crocheted and knitted items earlier this year. At this point, I have to rethink some of the previous goals I had.
I want to write another newsletter sometime next month.
Finished Black Beret
My mom passed away six weeks ago. I miss her very much. I have never lived by myself even though I am fifty years old. I always lived with my mother. It is such a big adjustment. I am still in the process of sending out thank you notes. People continue to be very supportive and I really appreciate it.
In October 2010, I had a nice party to celebrate mom’s 70th birthday. It was a wonderful occasion. This October I will probably have a get together in memory of mom.
I finished crocheting a beret that was ordered through Etsy. Hopefully I will have it mailed off tomorrow.
Saturday, I am planning to have a crocheting group meeting. I think this time people will actually show up.
Storm
The storm is just about over. Hurricane Irene didn’t affect me very much. I’ll spend some time today writing out thank you notes to people for their kindness after mom’s passing. I postponed my crocheting meeting until Sept 10 or Sept 17.
Hopefully I’ll get back to crocheting soon.
Alone
My mom passed away on August 8. I am very sad. I feel alone. People have been very kind to me. But it doesn’t ease the pain of my loss. My mom was one of the strongest women I’ve known. I miss her.
I’m hoping to have my crocheting group come to my home this Saturday August 27. I remember how happy mom was to wear the hats I crocheted for her.
Rest In Peace Mom. I love you with all my heart.
