The pink & cranberry colored scarf is still a work in progress. Hopefully, I will finish it tonight. My birthday is in May. I will be 50 years old. Sometimes, I wonder if my best years are behind me. Only time will tell.
There are many significant milestones, I have not achieved. I never had children. I never got married. I have been unemployed for three years due to my disability. I have no savings. I need medical treatment that my health insurance doesn’t fully cover.
In many ways, I feel that I didn’t live up to my full potential academically or professionally. But I’m trying hard to let go all of those draining feelings. None of that matters anymore.
As I crochet, I often reflect on the past choices I made . I also focus on making the best choices I can in the present. Monday is designated as Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I’ll list more of my dreams for the future then.
But here is one future dream I pray for now. I want to teach as many children and teenagers as I possibly can to knit and crochet. Maybe by achieving this goal I’ll be able to look back at my life at 60 and be at peace.
“He leads me beside the quiet waters, he restores my soul.” Psalms 23:3(NIV) I think of a reflecting pool and meditation when I read this verse. Crocheting is very relaxing to me. My crocheting times are my quiet water moments. I have to trust in the Lord, that He is able to restore my soul. I believe that He is able to heal all the pain of regret that I have over my past life decisions. I want to celebrate my life. I want to be proud of my accomplishments. I’ll think of all these things as I finish crocheting the scarf tonight.