I am still crocheting the red ripple afghan for my friend AM. Today is Friday and I don’t have much money left. My monthly disability check was deposited in my checking account as usual on Wednesday. Every fourth Wednesday of the month, I have to figure out what bills to pay. Or more importantly, I decide what bills not to pay.
I often feel very anxious and a little depressed on check day. I know that there are many bills that will go unpaid. I know there are many things that I need that I will not be able to have. My struggle is that, when I was working, my monthly income was twice what it is now. I stopped working in July 2007 ,but I am still having trouble making certain adjustments. Financially, I can’t afford to spend any money at all on crocheting expenses. Emotionally, I can’t afford not to crochet.
I am by no means saying that I spend most of my check on yarn. My monthly crocheting budget is $40. I only spend more if I have a custom order to make. I try to get deposits on my custom orders to cover yarn purchases so I won’t have to use my own money. I am determined to order yarn despite my limited budget. I am keeping a log of my crafting expenses. I am also writing down my sales. I hope that at the end of the year my sales will exceed my expenses. But, even if I don’t sell anything at all it doesn’t matter. Crocheting helps to improve the quality of my life. The peace of mind crochetng gives mean cannot be assigned a price.
Crocheting helps me regain my composure and calm down. The stress of living on my disability income is sometimes very overwhelming. Crocheting helps me to reduce my stress to a manageable level. Putting in my yarn order on Wednesday was a real guilty pleasure.
I am not complaining. I have shelter. I have food. I have family and friends that love me. I have my faith in the Lord. My health is improving. I believe that I can build my crafting business and do other at home projects to supplement my disability income. For now I will focus on crocheting the red ripple afghan.